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INTERNET DATING: TRUE ROMANCE OR CYBER REJECTION

By Ciaran Gallagher

INTERNET dating has been a tool for singles to meet for a few years now but I have often wondered how many people actually find love on the web. So I decided to put myself on an internet dating website and see for myself.
Being single I thought this would be an ideal opportunity to maybe even meet someone, safe in the knowledge that if anyone who knew me happened to see my profile on a dating website I could play it off as investigative journalism...or failing that at least have something funny to write about.
I’d heard success stories before and a few years ago a neighbour of mine introduced me to his cousin and her Scottish husband whom she had met on an internet site.
At the time I remember thinking to myself it was a pretty sad concept and if I did meet someone over the internet I would at least concoct some sort of story about meeting normally in a bar or laundrette or something.
About a year later one of my friends revealed for the last few months he had been meeting girls in chat rooms then arranging to meet them in town for drinks.
Donal confided in me that he had met a few young ladies so far and although most had been relatively human, there had been one occasion were he had felt the need to make a hasty retreat through the back fire escape.
I was amazed that my friend was using this modern phenomenon to meet girls when I still considered it to be taboo and a bit creepy.
Intrigued I decided to ask some of my other friends if they had tried internet dating.
And to my surprise quite a few had.
Nearly everyone I spoke to had a story to tell of someone they knew having found a partner online.
One such story came from a good friend of mine who confided in me after a few pints that the very girl he had been seeing for several months had in fact been introduced to him through a site called match.com.
After a few more pints Gavin admitted this had not been the first partner he had met through such a website and although most dates he’d been on went well, there was one girl who stuck in his mind.
He explained that on returning with this girl to his house, she tied him up, blind folded him and after applying make-up to him, she led his dog into the room and attempted to conduct some sort of lewd act before he demanded she untie him and leave.
Undeterred by these horror stories I started my own investigation.
I looked on the internet for any free dating sites but unfortunately after constructing my profile on various sites I was repeatedly asked to pay quite a hefty fee in order view my replies.
Eventually I came across a website called Gumtree. This dating site let me post adverts for free in the form of lonely hearts classifieds.
So I placed an ad - “slim, moderately attractive 22 year-old male living in Belfast studying media seeks similar female for dates” - this I thought covered all the basics.
I also selected the most flattering picture I could possibly find of myself and posted that too, now all I had to do was wait.
My first reply came surprisingly quickly from a 30 year-old African male seeking female companionship. Realising that maybe he had misread the ad I neglected to reply.
The next message I received was from yet again a bloke but this time an English speaking one who told me that he liked my picture and if I ever fancied batting for the other team, he’d quite happily show me the ropes.
Taking this as a compliment I returned his message with a polite thanks but no thanks.
The third and fourth were offers of marriage from two very attractive Russian girls and although tempted by their very kind offers decided that I’d rather not pay for their flights over.
After the previous disasters I received quite a promising email from a 27 year-old nurse along with a very attractive photograph.
I returned her email and we developed a small but short lived romance over emails until I realised the year in her email address made her 32. If she lied about her age how could I be sure the picture she sent was hers, not only that how could I be sure that she was a she at all? I ceased contact immediately.
Growing impatient of not actually meeting anyone in person I wasted no time inviting the next female who contacted me to a date after letting her know I wasn’t a freak or internet pervert. She ceased contact immediately.
This was not going as well as I’d anticipated.
I became disillusioned and went looking for more success stories.
I was told by a stranger in a bar that she went on a date with a young gentleman she’d met on the internet in a local restaurant and when they hadn’t hit it off he decided to vent his anger at her rejection by screaming abuse at her.
A good friend’s gay younger brother told me he had once went to meet some guy in the city centre and being understandably cautious had brought a friend along in case anything went wrong...one year on the chaperone and the blind date are still together and presumably are grateful to my friend for arranging their unconventional introduction.
Weeks after I placed my advert, I received a message from a 5’ 2, 25 year-old, with long dark hair, who also studied media and said I sounded “cute”.
I thought, fantastic and told her about my misadventures so far (neglecting to tell her I was planning to write about the whole thing).
She sounded nice and we arranged a place and time to meet.
This could very well be the out come I’d been looking for, I thought.
Approximately fifteen minutes later I received a text from one of the classmates on my journalism course saying that she was pretty sure I had just sent her a message and quoted my email address.
“Yes Lisa” I replied, “let’s keep that one to ourselves shall we?”
On completion of my short exploration into the world of cyber-romance I have learned little, found no love and am slightly embarrassed when conversing with my classmates.
But if I learned anything it’s that the trend of meeting partners on the World Wide Web in Northern Ireland has become almost the norm and is definitely not the taboo subject it once was.

Northern Ireland women are addicted to text flirting.

By Andrea Clarke

NEW research has revealed Northern Ireland women are addicted to text flirting.
Nearly a third (28.6 per cent) of Northern Irish women admitted to regularly flirting with someone via text and 42.9 per cent said rather than be overheard they prefer the secrecy of text.
According to directory service 118118 women are leading the way when it comes to texting, with 89 per cent of all adult women across the UK regularly texting compared to 70 per cent of all adult men.
They also found that twice as many women than men said they couldn’t live without text.
After polling 1082 UK mobile users aged 16-60 years old, 118118 said 61 per cent of women send up to five texts a day text for everything from flirting and dumping their partners, getting embarrassing information, to booking restaurants and organising their weekend.
In Northern Ireland women are twice as more likely than men to coldly dump their partner by text, but the permanent record of text can have its sting and 20 per cent of women said they have sent a text they later regretted.
The survey revealed one in 10 local women use text to enquire about private information they are too embarrassed to speak to a person about, such as dating agency numbers and locations of medical clinics.
For many women the mobile phone is like a personal assistant and over three quarters of all Northern Irish women now use text to manage their everyday lives. A third prefer to use text to get information while they are busy doing other things and 29 per cent would like to use texts to get train times, with the same number wanting to use text for directions.
118118 receive over 15,000 texts a week, forcing them to hire a new dedicated team of textperts to cope with the increasing demand.
“The idea of men making the most of new technology is exposed as a myth”, said 118118 Director of Communications William Ostrom.
“The reality is, it is women have adopted texting most successfully. Whilst men are still chatting away on the phone, women increasingly prefer to fire off a text and get on with other things.
“What our research shows however is that we are all now using text to get quick and easy information on all manner of things from weather forecasts to cinema times – it’s another example of simple technology helping us run our lives more efficiently”.

www.118.com

Spring cleaning the Yankee way

By Andrea Clarke

SPRING is in the air and you know what that means...spring cleaning.
And what better way to renew and rejuvenate our hibernating homes than with a good clear out and top to bottom clean.
Peter Burrows, of the gorgeous Yankee Pavilion in Donegall Arcade, offers his top ten tips to get your spring-cleaning off to a super start.

*When you dust, start at the top and work down.
*Use old socks as mitts for cleaning difficult woodwork.
*To removing heel marks, take pencil eraser and rub them off.
*Dot some Yankee Candle jars around the various rooms in your home to enliven it with delicious fragrances. You can co-ordinate the candle colours with your room decor and use fragrances to suit room activity e.g. Lavender in the bedroom will aid a good night’s rest, or the Good Morning fragrance, which is like warm breakfast muffins, with tangy citrus and spicy cardamom, would be delightful in the kitchen.
*An open box of baking soda left in the fridge will absorb odours for a month or so.
*Stop yellowing of white appliances. Mix 1/2-cup bleach, 1/4-cup baking soda and 4 cups of warm water. Apply with a sponge and let set for 10 minutes. Rinse and dry thoroughly.
*The greatest damage done to wood floors is from grit. Mats at doors are necessary to collect grit and it's important to keep these clean. Frequent dust mopping in high traffic areas to collect grit is the best prevention. Never scoot furniture on wood. Felt and furniture protectors should be installed on furniture.
*For those of you with pets, Yankee Pavilion stocks the Pet Clean Scents range. The range includes candle jars, Fabric Deodoriser, Air Deodoriser and the Electric Room Deodoriser, which you simply plug in to an electric socket to release the clean scents. The Pet Clean Scents range is formulated with powerful, odour-eliminating agents and great Yankee scents, it’s the perfect way to make rooms smell fresh and clean. Lets face it, as much as we love them, pets pong a bit!
*Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely
light scent in each room when the light is turned on.
*Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will
smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.

The new spring fragrances from Yankee Candle have just landed at Yankee Pavilion, so tickle your senses and choose from new, beautiful fragrances including, Star Fruit & Orange, a sun-infused medley of crisp star fruit, sweet mandarins and delicate pink hibiscus.
Spring Bouquet – a beautiful mixed bouquet of bright orange blossoms, romantic jasmine and sweet ylang-ylang and Willow Breeze, a sweet aroma of green willow and lemon blossom spiced with Spanish moss and sandalwood.
These scents are available in large, medium and small candle jars, wax tarts and scented tea-lights.
Yankee Pavilion, Donegall Arcade, 02890 245669

BELFAST SECOND WORST CITY FOR MOBILE PHONE THEFT

By Andrea Clarke

NEW research has revealed Belfast is the second worst city in the UK for mobile phone theft.
The study found 29 per cent of Belfast residents had experienced mobile phone theft, with one in 10 cases involving thieves grabbing the phones or handbags from the victims in the streets.
The research also showed thieves are most likely to strike in the evenings. One in five people in Belfast admitted falling victim to phone theft while out in one of the city’s night spots.
April and August had the highest rates of phone theft in the city.
The poll of 3,500 people was carried out by CPP, the UK’s leading life assistance business, found Glasgow is the worst place to live when it comes to mobile phone crime.
Almost a third (31 per cent) of Glaswegians have been a victim of mobile phone theft, with 17 per cent of cases involving phones being snatched from bags.
But the Irish are more vigilant than Glaswegians, being twice more likely to report the theft straight away.
John Walkley, Head of Mobile Phone Security at CPP Phonesafe said: “It’s alarming how common mobile theft is becoming.
“A recent study from the Metropolitan Police revealed as many as 10,000 mobile phones are stolen every month.
“Most people rarely leave home without their mobile phone, so it’s vital to always be on guard for opportunists – especially if you are talking on the phone whilst walking in the street, or have it on show in a pub or club.
“The study also showed almost two thirds of people in the UK fail to insure their mobile phone despite the fact that the average handset would cost more than £200 to replace and airtime abuse can run into several hundreds of pounds”.
The third worst place to live for mobile theft in the UK is Liverpool, where 12 per cent of mobile phone theft victims confessed they had not bothered to insure their handsets.
Chelmsford and London also appeared in the top five of place where people need to be more vigilant with their mobile phones.
Aberdeen and Norwich are the cities which experienced the fewest incidents of mobile phone theft.
CPP offered some tips to keep your mobile safe.
Note down your IMEI number, it’s printed on the inside of your handset’s battery case so if your phone goes missing your service provider can use this number to blacklist your phone.
Store the name and number of someone who should be contacted in case of emergency in your phone book, adding the letters ICE in front of their name.
If your phone has a security code, remember to activate it. This means only your SIM card will work on your handset.
Be aware of who’s close to you if you need to make a call in public.
You can also register your handset on the National Mobile Phone Register www.immobilise.com. It increases the likelihood of lost and stolen phones being returned to you.

NI COUPLES UNHAPPY WITH PARTNERS BODY SIZE SAYS NEW RESEARCH

By Andrea Clarke

A NEW survey has revealed Northern Ireland couples are unhappy with their partner’s size, but don’t fret they are unlikely to ditch their other half for weight gain.
The research, conducted by new medical certified weight management product LIPObind, surveyed 4,000 adults in the UK and found over two thirds say their partner has put on weight in the first 24 months of the relationship.
Northern Ireland ranked number four in the regions most unhappy with their partner’s weight, behind the North East, who were first, followed by Scotland and London in second and third place respectively.
But when it came to dumping their partner for putting on too much weight, Northern Ireland came in seventh, ahead of the South West and the Midlands.
King’s College London psychologist Dr Glenn Wilson analysed the survey results, and found Northern Ireland’s results particular interesting, especially as the top three in both lists remained the same.
He said: “Body weight is an important aspect of attractiveness.
“In Northern Ireland many couples feel so complacent about their relationship that they let their figure slip.
“Perhaps they have been on a strict regime of diet and exercise but once they feel that they have ‘hooked’ their partner, less of an effort is made to remain attractive.
“Losing weight is notoriously difficult once the process of gain has begun. And of course lapses are all the more likely given how tempting food advertisements and restaurants have become in today’s world”.
The survey also revealed three quarters of those interviewed admitted they would stop fancying their partner of they put on more weight, while 79 per cent would tell their boyfriend or girlfriend if they thought they were getting too fat.
Nutritionist Dr Chris Fenn added: “People are often aware of the amount of fat they consume on a daily basis as the typical modern diet is high in fatty foods such as takeaways and convenience foods and food nutrition labelling is often overlooked.
“Excessive fat intake not only causes people to be overweight but has more serious health implications such as coronary artery disease and strokes.
“Products that reduce the amount of fat the body absorbs can be effective, especially if people follow a healthy eating diet and get regular exercise”.
www.lipobind.com

RISING JUNK MAIL TO BLAME FOR IDENTITY THEFT IN NORTHERN IRELAND

By Tina Calder

RISING amounts of junk mail is putting Northern Ireland residents at risk of identity theft it was revealed.
New research has found that UK homes are bombarded by a staggering 15 billion items of junk mail each year.
And on average Belfast households receive 509 unsolicited letters on their doormat, resulting in a whopping 39,962 letters for credit card applications, loans, promotional literature, competitions and catalogue subscriptions during a lifetime.
The statistics, released by life assistance specialists CPP, also revealed that 85 per cent of people admit to throwing junk mail in the bin without even opening it – helping fraudsters cash in by leaving valuable personal information in their waste bags.
Danny Harrison, identity theft expert at CPP said the results from their poll of 4,000 people were “terrifying”.
He added: “There are 140,000 victims of identity fraud every year and 13 per cent of these people lost their identity due to stolen mail.
“People don’t realise that by dropping their junk mail in the bin, they are effectively giving fraudsters an opportunity to steal their identity each time.”
According to CPP moving home is the time when Northern Ireland residents are most at risk with “previous address fraud” now being the “most common” method of identity theft, accounting for 42 per cent of cases.
A careless one in five people forget to give notification of change of address when they move.
And a quarter of people don’t tell important organizations such as banks, insurance companies, utility companies and the DVLA until two weeks later.
Danny added: “With the average person moving three times in their lifetime, we leave an easy paper trail for identity thieves to follow.
“Moving home is a key time for people to leave themselves vulnerable to fraudsters.
“Giving notification of change of address should be organised weeks in advance and should be put in equal priority to signing the deeds or booking the removal lorry. If it isn’t, the consequences could be very serious.
“Whilst three out of ten of us won’t bother to inform catalogue companies of a change of address, 12 per cent forget to tell the local council and six per cent of folk even fail to tell their bank– risking personal account information being sent to the wrong door.”
The stats also found that a careless one in four home movers won’t forward new details on to doctors and dentists with more than a third of people (36 per cent) relying on the new occupants of their old home to redirect mail.
“A third of the people questioned actually bothered to forward any correspondence” said David.
“The rest either throw it in the bin or read it – then dump it.”